I have been procrastinating for more than five years and waiting myself to be ready for writing.
On the positive note, I am more serious on hitting my target this year.
And if punching the keys won’t be enough then let me do more than that. This time, I want to work in silence. This time, I won’t listen to the devil’s whisper. This time, I will be more passionate. I have come to realize that dreams will stay as it is when you speak more of your plans than what you are actually doing. This time, I want to take my dream out of the mind box.
Like any writer, I want my works to get published. I want people to read it and to like it but I’m afraid of failing and criticism. I feel insufficient. I feel scared that I might lack the vocabulary or even commit a few grammatical errors. These were the things that hold me back from believing that I can write.
Then I realized that I had the wrong motivation all along. I wanted to please the world so much. I was in love in the idea of writing a book and gaining fame, it never gave me a good push to write every day or to read more books or to become a better and consistent writer. Though seeing my printed name on a book is a good goal, I had let myself indulged in that fantasy and let the real world jeopardized. Confidence wasn’t actually the issue. It was me and what I aim for.
Victors win not because they were super good at things but because they have the will and a reason to push further and defy limitations. Their skills were formed by everyday practice or training and of giving their heart to every thing that they do. The accumulation of hard work, discipline and passion makes winners win.
I am forever grateful to be able to read the word ‘highest calling’ and it made me think of writing not just as a form of art but a way to create greater impact to the world. I realized I am but a vessel and an instrument to make people happy, to give hope in rhymes and to bring laughter in verses. For words were like rain in a sullen land; a drop of water in a thirsty throat. It’s what people need in times where hope and faith are in drought.
“What are words for, if it cannot change a life.”
“What are these hands for, if it cannot create.”
“What are these mouths for, if it cannot speak the truth.”
“What are these eyes for, if it cannot see beauty.”
“Why are we here for, if we cannot make a difference.”